Darcy’s growth throughout the novel is entirely dependent upon Elizabeth. In the beginning of the novel, Austen depicts Darcy negatively numerous times. He is unfriendly, standoffish, and unsociable. Even when faced with remarks about his pride, Darcy replies, “where there is a real superiority of mind, pride will be always under good regulation” (Austen Chapter 11). He is not a great guy. Darcy is only appealing because of his looks and money – neither of which are good reasons to love a man. It begs the question, if Darcy were poor or unattractive, would women be interested in him? My guess is no, not at all. Darcy’s personal growth journey was nonexistent until Elizabeth comes into the picture. When Darcy rudely proposes to Elizabeth the first time, she replies by saying “From the very beginning— from the first moment, I may almost say— of my acquaintance with you, your manners, impressing me with the fullest belief of your arrogance, your conceit, and your selfish disdain of the feelings of others, were such as to form the groundwork of disapprobation on which succeeding events have built so immovable a dislike; and I had not known you a month before I felt that you were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry” (Chapter 34). Her harsh and honest response is magnified by the difference between their economic statuses; a poorer woman does not desire a rich man because he is so awful! For the first time, Mr. Darcy is motivated to become a better person. Austen depicts this proposal rejection as the motivation Mr. Darcy needs to become a better man and suitor for Elizabeth, while - in reality - it is merely an awful guy becoming less awful because he got rejected.
Ms. Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy’s love story reinforces toxic gender norms. First, it tells young men that it is okay to have no standard for their personal growth or maturity until a woman demands that they grow up. Also known as, “boys will be boys.” Secondly, it tells women that men will be not meet their expectations, but they will eventually become Mr. Right with enough patience and encouragement. The romantic lens that is put on toxic traits encourage women to associate bad qualities in men as the potential for a happy ending. While Elizabeth and Darcy enjoy a happy ending in the fictional Pride and Prejudice, most women in the real-world find themselves endlessly chasing boys who refuse to grow up and take responsibility for themselves.
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ReplyDeleteAlthough it cannot be contradicted that much of Mr. Darcy’s improvement is a result of Ms. Elizabeth Bennet. In fact, Mr. Darcy himself says, “my parents… almost taught me to be selfish and overbearing, to care for none beyond my own family circle, to think meanly of all the rest of the world…and such I might still have been if not for you, dearest, loveliest Elizabeth!” (Austen 349). However, I do not believe that it can be speculated that his prior character is without merit because he has improved as a result of a woman. In the words of his own housekeeper, it is said, “I have never had a cross word from him in my life, and I have known him ever since he was four years old” (Austen 238). From this it can be seen that there is respectability behind the nature of the master of the house. It is inferred that the cruel, distant face that he portrays in public is not necessarily what most closely resembles his character. There are parts of Darcy that are good, but few are able to see these traits. In reality, this makes perfect sense. People are a result of their experiences. Before meeting Elizabeth, Darcy is in many ways superior to many. He is prideful and without reason to alter his behavior. Although this may be seemingly bad, I think this is human nature. It makes no sense for a person to expend themselves without cause. What is not accounted for by this post is the merit of Mr. Darcy for having the willingness to change. No, I am not one who believes in changing oneself to be in a relationship with another, but I do have respect for his fictional character who takes steps to improve himself when flaws are pointed out. Darcy became more of a gentleman. He was willing to overcome his feelings of hatred towards another in order to protect Elizabeth’s sister – without ever wanting the one whose love he seeks to know. Overall, he becomes a man that is deserving of attention from a woman like Elizabeth Bennet. It may not be realistic for a man to change and he and his love to live happily ever after, but that is why this is a book. The story ends with two people that learn to grow and change as a result of circumstances. They are happily in love, but that does not mean Elizabeth is forced to be inferior to the man once more. Although I agree that similar tales may have a poor message from their result, I do believe that there can be a relationship where a man and a woman have altered perspectives and grow to love each other, regardless of poor beginnings.